Friday, August 27, 2010

Plan B

As I was growing up, my Mom always told me she wanted to write a book about her life and call it "Plan B". She wanted to name her life story that because life never worked out with Plan A. A Plan B was always needed. Even though I am not yet 30, I have come to realize the importance in being able to come up with a Plan B. When you try to plan things with such limited experience in your twenties, you are bound to make mistakes. But on top of that, life just throws you surprises sometimes; things you would never guess could happen to you.

I planned to have a baby. As I was pregnant waiting for my baby boy to come, I pictured bringing him to school, going camping, and celebrating birthdays. I imagined having a close relationship with my son and feeling like my life was fulfilled. My life would have direction now and it would make sense because it would be my responsibility to care for this baby. I never worried that I would not be a good mother. In my mind I was the best mother ever. Never getting upset, always smiling, and having all the answers. My son was going to be so lucky to have me.

My husband and I planned his bedroom. My husband was in the Air Force at the time and we were living in Germany. I did not like the German cribs so I bought a used American crib off of a family. We made a barnyard theme for his room. I had picked out the crib set a few years back when I was shopping with my sister when she was waiting to adopt my niece Carlie. I looked at all the sets with her and fell in love with this cute off white barnyard set that had happy animals. I told everyone that when I had a baby I wanted that set. So sure enough when I found out I was expecting, my Mom bought the set and brought it on a plane to Germany for me. I was so excited. I lovingly put the room together and would spend a large part of my day in his room planning how my life was going to change with this new addition to our family. We had planned his name early and knew he was going to be called Ryan. I could not wait for my precious Ryan to arrive.

My husband is a planner to the core. Being married to him has greatly improved my planing abilities. We thought we had all our bases covered. We had the money, the time, and the energy. Or at least we thought we did. God must have been laughing his head off looking at us because we got a surprise. My precious Ryan was born with a developmental disorder called sensory processing disorder. I had never even heard of this before. We did not plan for our baby to have special needs. We were not prepared. But as in every one's life, Plan B can be more rewarding then Plan A.

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